Pigeonholed

The end of every workday consists of a mad rush of workers flying out the door. Construction workers don't like to work anything past their eight hours, and come 2:00, our job site looks like a roach-infested apartment when the light's flicked on. Everyone is scurrying, quick as possible, to get the hell out.

And it's also the time of day when foremen will drop bombs on you that they didn't want to bring up during the day. Small stuff like 'hey, I didn't get around to moving that outlet that you asked (demanded) I move. Maybe tomorrow." Or big stuff like "hey, we're not coming to work tomorrow."

So a little before two, when I just happened to be walking by a foreman's office, I got pretty nervous when he popped out and started a sentence with "Uhh."

This can't be good.

"There's a pigeon in that room." He pointed to a door and walked away.

Well, I guess it could be worse.

I walked in the door and saw nothing. I turned a corner and out of nowhere, wings started flapping at my face. I jumped a bit. Okay, a lot. The pigeon flapped around for a moment, a couple feet in the air. It came to a rest and looked at me. I looked back.

I startd some more. He stared right back. We matched wits. I pulled out the one move I thought he couldn't do. I called my boss.

"Hey, there's got a pigeon in a room."

"And I care why?" He hung up. This was going to be tougher than I thought. I opened a window. He flew into a open duct. I banged on the duct. This was Frazier vs. Ali, Kasparov vs. Deep Blue.

I got a ladder and looked into the duct. He was there, bobbing. He'd found a roost, a safe, warm haven to live and procreate. I bet he was already calling more pigeons. "Hey, I've found a home. Come, let's mate. Don't mind the kid. We won't let him watch."

For ten minutes I debated what do to. I opened another window. Maybe he wants to go out this one, I thought. It wasn't. He stayed in the duct, probably yapping on his pigeon cell phone, planinng pigeon parties for when I left. You fucking dick. This is my hotel. Not yours.

Be patient I thought. Maybe I'd scared him. Maybe he was afraid, all that banging and the loud noises. Maybe if I just let him be, he'd eventually come out. So I opened all the windows and locked the door. He'd definitely be gone tomorrow.

Unless that's exactly what he wanted me to do.